God is my everything

I remember as a kid, when I would get a good grade, I would cry. I felt there was no point in a grade if you didn't have a mom to show it to. When my friends talked about their moms and what they would cook for them, I would lie and say my mom is making spaghetti and apple pie. They would bully and tease me saying "your mom left you".

When I would feel sick, I would cry because I wanted a mom to hold me and tell me I would feel better. Nothing in life ever satisfied the need to be seen, loved and supported by a mother. I grew with that hole in my heart.

I found out early on that a mom is who gives confidence to young girls. The reason I saw myself ugly, weak, not smart, was because I didn't have her to tell me who I was.

Until he found me..

He found me broken, rebellious, dark and hating on life. He saw right through that. In His word he showed me I am his beloved. He healed parts of me I thought could never be healed. He changed the way I saw myself in the mirror.

I remember sitting in a bible study, and my Pastor explained that God has a feminine identity in the name El Shaddai. I knew in my heart that God was my mom. I knew in my heart that I was no longer motherless. Whenever I achieved something in my life, I would smile now because He sees.. He hears.. He is proud of me!

No matter what you lost or what you longed for all your life, God is able to recompense you. He is able to heal you and raise you up. Now, I know that he is my all. I do not need anything outside of him.

Decide today not to be distracted by life and it's hardships. Decide to seek His heart. Decide to tell Him what hurts. He is faithful!

Prayer: Abba, I need to feel your love. I need to feel your hand on my life. Help me see your face. Help me know who I am in YOU! Thank you for never leaving or forsaking me. You are my everything. Amen.